Ashley Diaz

Katie - My beautiful face.

Usch, har aldrig gråtit så mycket i hela mitt liv. Såg en dokumentär på tv, jag har sätt den förut men kollade igen som den är verkligen rörande. Jag gråter varje gång jag ser den, verkligen hemskt. Jag hittade en interjuv men den är på engelska (MEN VÄRD ATT LÄSA) så ni som kan läsa bra på engelska läs den gärna och ni som inte förstår så mycket säg bara till så översätter jag den till svenska :)

Den här tjejen fick alltså frätande syra i ansiktet, läs interjuvn så förstår ni varför.


Nu ser hon ut såhär:


Aww, så vacker.

Katie talks movingly and frankly to Channel 4 about her recollections of the attack, her experiences of the last 18 months, and why she is looking forward to a bright future.

Channel 4: Where were you in your life before the attack took place in March 2008?
Katie: I was 24, living in North London, a model and TV presenter. I was going clubbing and enjoying being young and single.

Channel 4: How did you meet Danny Lynch?
Katie: The first contact was on Facebook. There was also a connection through the martial arts work that I was doing.

Channel 4: You started seeing him, and everything started off fine, didn't it?
Katie: Yeah, it was just like whenever you first start dating someone, you go out for drinks and dinners, you chat on the phone. It was quite intense, but there weren't any warning signs of what was to come.

Channel 4: When did things start to go wrong?
Katie: Well, we only dated for a few weeks, so it was quite early on. I saw a jealous streak, possessiveness, an anger problem, and little things about his life didn't add up. He told me he was working, doing certain things, and yet he didn't really have a job.

Channel 4: And then one night, in a London hotel, he raped you. Why didn't you go to the police after that?
Katie: He held me in the room, all night, attacking me and threatening me that if I told anybody he would kill me, and kill my flatmates. He knew where I lived, where I parked my car. I was terrified.

Channel 4: What do you remember of 31st March 2008? What happened?
Katie: I remember everything. I remember walking out of my flat, and I was on the telephone to Danny, and he was getting me to come out of the house. So whilst on the phone to him I was walking across the balcony, down the communal stairs, and I opened the door and went out on to the street. I was still on the phone, and a guy started crossing the street towards me. And as he got closer to me, I thought 'He's not just crossing the street, he's coming towards me.' He had made eye contact with me, and his arms were locked out in front of him, with a cup in his hands. I thought he was begging, so I said to Danny 'Hold on a second'. I put the phone to my ear and went to get money from my bag, and as I did, this guy threw the acid in my face.

Channel 4: What happened next?
Katie: Initially I just remember thinking 'Oh my gosh, how terrible, this guy's just thrown coffee at me, how rude!' I even thought things like 'I'm going to have to go inside now and change my top.' Just stupid stuff. A few seconds after, the pain was just surging through my body and I thought maybe it had been bleach. And then, when the pain just overtook and started to reduce my vision, I knew it was acid. Losing my vision made me feel really vulnerable, because I had no idea where he'd run off to. And my screaming was so loud that it was deafening me. I remember thinking 'I wish that noise would stop,' and then realising that it was me.

Channel 4: What happened over the next days and weeks?
Katie: It's all a bit of a blur, really, because of the drugs that I was on, so things that I remember didn't necessarily happen. I was in an induced coma for a while, because of the pain and mental trauma. And also because all the skin from my buttocks and back had been removed to graft onto my face.

Channel 4: So you didn't really know what was going on for a while. Do you remember coming out of that and starting to comprehend what was happening to you?
Katie: It happened bit by bit. The drugs would be reduced and then have to be increased again, and more surgery would happen, so it was really up and down. My parents said that sometimes I'd be up in bed talking to them, and they'd think I was totally normal, then I'd say stuff like 'Danny's behind you.'

Channel 4: What do you remember about seeing yourself for the first time?
Katie: That's a vivid memory, and I wasn't on drugs then. I was due to be discharged, I'd been in hospital for nearly two months. And in the burns unit, they don't have any mirrors in the bathrooms or anywhere. I'd started trying to catch a glimpse of my face in the back of spoons at meal times, but I couldn't see properly. I could see my hand, and it was raw and red and lumpy, a bit like raw mincemeat. And I remember thinking 'That must be my face.' After a while, I really wanted to look in the mirror, because my mind was going into overdrive. So, a week before I was discharged I went to see the burns psychologist.

Channel 4: With a view to seeing your face?
Katie: Yes, but only bit by bit. My dad sat in the room with me. And the psychologist said 'Right, I'm going to give you a hand-mirror, and what I want you to do is look at a little bit, maybe on your chest. And we'll look at a bit today, then tomorrow we'll work our way up, and the next day we'll do a bit more and talk about how you feel.' And in my head I thought 'No way, I'm not doing that, I'm just going to go full whack and look at it all now.' So I got the mirror and just held it up, and initially I just thought 'There's been a massive mistake. There's either someone stood behind me or they've stuck a picture on it, or the mirror's broken, because that's not me. That's not even a woman.' It didn't even look female. Then I got quite angry. I kept saying 'It's not working, I can't see my face.' The biggest thing I remember looking at was my eyes, because they were dead. All the skin was pulled down, and you could see the circular shape of the eyeball. And the pupil had gone in the blind eye. My eyes were just completely dead. I remember thinking 'I look like Freddy Kruger.' It sounds vain, but even things like the fact that they'd shaved my head, I was thinking 'I've got no hair. I've got no ear!'

Channel 4: Did you learn to accept it in time?
Katie: Not at first, it was hard when I went back home. The first time probably wasn't the worst time of seeing my reflection. That was probably when I got home, and the burns started to shrivel up and get lumpier, and actually it got worse. As it was contracting and pulling down, I became more disfigured. I remember one time I was sat in my bedroom painting my toenails - because I still painted my toenails! - I had a little vanity box that I kept all my polishes in, and it had a tiny little mirror on the lid. And I had it on the floor, and I was sat on the floor painting my toenails, and out of the corner of my eye I saw this dreadful thing in my mirror. This big, red, shiny monster, all contorted, and I thought 'Oh my Goodness, what on earth is that?' And I realised it was my reflection, and I just sat there and cried for an hour. I remember thinking 'If my reflection shocks me, how will other people feel?'

Channel 4: How many operations have you had?
Katie: I'm not sure. Somewhere in the 30s. I had another one just this week - on my birthday would you believe?

Channel 4: There's a surgeon who's worked with you a lot. You're very grateful to him, aren't you?
Katie: Mr Jawad is amazing. At times he's been my reason for carrying on. When I felt depressed, I've almost felt like I can't let him down. He has been like a second dad to me, he's been so amazing. Always been positive, always been optimistic. When I've felt like there's no point, things aren't going to get better, he's researched new treatments, he's shown me pictures of other people he's treated, he's introduced me to other people who have suffered injuries, for moral support. He's gone beyond his job, he's just been phenomenal. And to build up that relationship so that I trust him has made the surgery so much easier, it's made me less frightened about the outcome. And to have someone believe in me and care about me has helped my confidence. It's helped me feel worthwhile.

Channel 4: Your throat was burned so badly you had to be fed by a tube into your stomach. Do you still have to use that?
Katie: I did have an external tube in my stomach, but that was removed about four months ago. I've been able to eat normally, but I have to drink eight of these special drinks-a-day, that have 200 calories in them, and proteins and things like that.

Channel 4: What about the psychological injuries that you've suffered. How did you deal with them?
Katie: It's very hard. I didn't like people walking in my direction. In my own home, the noises of the pipes, or doors clicking shut, or someone dropping something - all of that would put me on edge. That's subsided now a lot, thankfully, 18 months on. Before, I thought I was invincible, so I'm probably more risk-averse. But that may not be such a bad thing.

Channel 4: Why did you want to make this film?
Katie: A number of reasons. I think, for me personally, I felt that it would make my life easier if people could see me, know what has happened to me, and know why I look the way I look. So that if people see me on the street they'll think 'Oh, I saw that girl in a documentary, I know why she's wearing that mask.' And I also wanted to do it for other people who have been burned, to raise awareness of things like the masks, why people wear them, that it's part of the treatment. I think that's probably harder for people - not necessarily the scarring. It's more 'Look at that woman, she's got a plastic face, that's really weird!' That's probably more the reason people look at me than the disfigurement. So I think it'd be good to get that more in the open. I'd never seen a plastic mask before, I never knew what they were for. And I also wanted to show people that I'm still a normal person, I can still laugh. And to show that people don't have to be scared around me, or worried about saying the wrong thing. I can talk about my accident, it's not a taboo subject. And I really enjoyed doing the documentary. It was good therapy for me.

Channel 4: How did it feel when your attackers were found guilty, and when they were sentenced?
Katie: Because it ended up going to a retrial, and I had a period of seven or eight months between the trials, I thought that when I got the verdict I'd be elated. I thought I'd be jumping for joy and having a party. But it's actually not like that. It's a feeling of: That is justice. That is what should happen.

Channel 4: Did you realise what a strong person you were before all of this?
Katie: If you'd asked the old me what I'd do if I was disfigured and partly-blinded, I'd have said 'I'll just kill myself, because my looks are everything to me.' When I used to get spots I wouldn't go out, I was that vain. I spent lots of money on looking good. So I'd have never imagined I could get through something like this. But people always think that, and then when you're thrown into something, like a bereavement, you get through it and deal with it. I think the human spirit is an amazing thing.

Channel 4: So how do you feel now?
Katie: I love life. I'm really happy to be alive, I'm grateful to have a great family, and to live in a country that has the NHS - I've had all this treatment on the NHS. Medical treatment is fantastic, the things they can do these days are amazing. To be melted and rebuilt is quite phenomenal, really. I feel positive about my life. I want to go on and get married and have children. I want a normal life.

Channel 4: What are your other hopes for the future?
Katie: I'd like to return to work, and have a professional life. I don't just want to recover and put it in a box and forget about it, I want to use my experience to help other people who have been burned. And I'd maybe like to raise awareness about having your life online. Everybody goes online, people date online and lots of success stories happen, but with things like Facebook, MySpace and Twitter, so many of your personal details are online, and people can find out so much about you. I'm not trying to make some campaign against social networking sites, because they're really useful, but I'd maybe like to raise awareness and get people to be a little vigilant.


Så reta ALDRIG någon för hur dom ser ut. ALDRIG, ni är sjuka om ni mobbar någon, fattar ni hur den personen känner sig ! Ni vet inte vad som har hänt dom, så döm aldrig någon för det utseende.